Guidelines: Romance & Marriage

This group focuses on romance, dating, sexuality and marriage issues. Guidelines for staying on topic:

1) The topic and/or context should be about the romance-related issues that members in the group have encountered or are likely to encounter. Since autistics and NeuroTypicals have the same issues, it is unavoidable to discuss romantic issues faced by other groups of people. However, the topic should preferably be of interest to the autistics in the group.

2) The topic discussed should have the practical goal of making the love lives of autistics healthier; this means it should improve their ability for dating or marriage. Discussions about sex education for children is not relevant.

3) The topic of sex will come up. As a guideline, if it is covered in government approved sex education classes, it should be safe to talk about it. Females are in the group so males should not say anything that makes them uncomfortable, such as describing explicit sex. Religious members are welcome to provide moral advice but please remain respectful of the personal moral choices of other group members. Avoid talking excessively about sexually deviant behaviour as romance is not just about sex.

4) This is not a group for chatting up potential romantic partners. You can look for potential partners here but please keep your private and intimate conversations to yourselves. Likewise, please refrain from promoting social escorts and other morally dubious services here.

5) This is not the place to solicit sex, share pornography, harass people sexually or promote any illegal activity. Any such violations will result in an immediate ban. You have been warned.

6) We (autistic adults) are not interested to be told that we are incapable of having or unsuitable to have romantic partners. Please contribute something constructive, such as how we can treat our partners better and how we may be unintentionally hurting our partners.

7) Although many of us have experienced negative experiences with romance, please maintain a positive attitude in this group. This group is not meant to tell people how romance sucks and how scary the dating world is. This group is meant to inspire and help people to succeed in romance, if they so choose to find a partner. We already have enough negativity in the world, so let us not add to that.

For example:

  • Share positive words and role models about autistic romance rather than why we are condemned to be singles
  • Talk about the joys of intimacy instead of deviant sexual disorders and being taken advantage of
  • Have helpful tips on dating rather than emphasizing on sex offenders and crimes


Participants are welcome to share their experiences when it is relevant to do so. Where possible (though not a must), you can help enhance the quality of the discussion by sharing something that you don’t usually hear from other works on autism or something that gives a twist to the ordinary.

If you must share a long essay or article, please upload it on a blog, website, Google Drive or another online service first, then share the link for us to read at our leisure.