Guidelines: Romance & Marriage

This group focuses on romance, dating, sexuality and marriage issues. Guidelines for staying on topic:

1) The topic and/or context should be about the romance-related issues that autistic adults in the group have encountered or are likely to encounter. Since autistics and NeuroTypicals have the same issues, it is unavoidable to discuss romantic issues faced by other groups of people. However, the topic should first and foremost be of interest to the autistics in the group, not the NeuroTypicals.

2) The topic should be based on scenarios that can be encountered in the real world. Topics about imaginary scenarios and magical worlds are not relevant.

3) The topic discussed should have the practical goal of making the love lives of autistics healthier; this means it should improve their ability for dating or marriage. It may be interesting to discuss the NeuroTypical clubbing scene, if the institution of marriage should be abolished, or if the world will be a better place if we follow the bonobos’ sexual norms, but these belong more to an Interest Group.

4) We (autistic adults) are not interested to be told that we are incapable of having or unsuitable to have romantic partners. Please contribute something constructive, such as how we can treat our partners better and how we may be unintentionally hurting our partners.

5) The topic of sex will come up. As a guideline, if it is covered in government approved sex education classes, it should be safe to talk about it. Females are in the group so males should not say anything that makes them uncomfortable, such as describing explicit sex. Religious members are welcome to provide moral advice but please remain respectful of the personal moral choices of other group members.

6) This is not a group for chatting up potential romantic partners. You can look for potential partners here but please keep your private and intimate conversations to yourselves. Likewise, please refrain from promoting social escorts and other morally dubious services here.

7) This is not the place to solicit sex, share pornography, harass people sexually or promote any illegal activity. Any such violations will result in an immediate ban. You have been warned.

8) If you must really mention something irrelevant that is connected to a relevant topic currently under discussion, then remember to end it within three mentions.


Participants are welcome to share their experiences when it is relevant to do so. As there are many people who have shared about their autism experiences already, participants are advised to focus on depth, quality, and uniqueness. Share something that you don’t usually hear from other works on autism or something that gives a twist to the ordinary.

Do note the rules about keeping the group spam-free. If you must share a long essay or article, please upload it on a blog, website, Google Drive or other online services first, then share the link for us to read at our leisure.